听说这本书是每一个想要从事教育行业的人必读的一本书，但是看完以后，我觉的这是每一个人都必须要读的书。

这本小书很短，几十页纸描述了马文科林斯的教育理念，马文科林斯是一个小学教师，曾被总统邀请去当教育部部长，但被她拒绝。她选择了继续做自已——她不愿政治因素或者官僚作风干扰了自己的教学。下面将引用书的部分片段。

“I never forgot that experience. It has influenced the teaching methods I use with my students. To me an error means a child needs help, not a reprimand or ridicule for doing it wrong. No child should ever be told “That’s stupid” or “You can’t do it” or “You don’t know what you’re doing.” Adults should take a positive approach with children. The most important thing we can do as parents and teachers is build a child’s self-confidence. Any child can learn if he or she has not already been taught too thoroughly that learning is impossible. Children need reassurance and encouragement. They have to be told that it is all right to make mistakes because mistakes are part of learning. I tell my students:”If you knew everything there is to know, then you wouldn’t have to be in school.”

这段话应该是本书的核心了吧，孩子犯错误意味着她需要帮忙，而不是惩罚或嘲讽。我们都曾经是小孩子，我现在也有一个2岁的小孩了，看到这段话深有体会。

“Praise is essential in developing the right attitude toward learning and toward school. We all know this in theory. In practice we often forget the importance of praise in dealing with children. We forget how sensitive children can be and how fragile their egos are. It is painful for a child to be told “This is wrong.” Rather than punishing, teachers and parents should encourage continued effort:”This is good. It’s a wonderful try, but it is not quite right. Let’s try correcting this together.”

再多的表扬都不为过，不只是对小孩，对成年人也一样。

“Children are quick to mimic adults. If a teacher ridicules or picks on a child, chances are the children will pick on each other. And of course the reverse is true.”

小孩子非常擅长模仿，如果一个老师嘲笑或指责某个学生，那么学
生们可能也会彼此嘲笑，反之亦然。

这里也可以延伸到管理。

“My children read from Aesop’s Fables, Grimm’s Fairy Tales, Hans Christian Andersen, La Fontaine’s Fables, and Leo Tolstoy’s Fables and Fairytales. I chose those stories because they teach values and morals and lessons about life. Fairy tales and fables allow children to put things in perspective——greed, trouble, happiness, meanness, and joy. After reading those stories you have something to think over and discuss. More than anything, I wanted my students to be excited about reading. I wanted them to understand that reading is not an exercise in memorizing words but a way to bring ideas to light.”

一些书单，以及为什么读这些书。

“If you raise your fist and yell at someone today, he may give you something because he feels sorry for you or is frightened of you, but what are you going to do tomorrow and the next day and ten years from now? ”

I am convinced that the real solution is education. We have to teach children self-reliance and self-respect. We have to teach them the importance of learning, or developing skills, of doing for themselves. I am always reminding my students that if you give a man a fish, he will eat for only a day. If you teach him how to fish, he will feed himself for a lifetime. That’s why I stay in Garfield Park. The legacy I want to leave behind is a generation of children who realize that you can’t get something for nothing, who are proud and resourceful enough to take care of their own. In this messed up world, the only children who are going to make something of themselves are those who come from strong parents or those who have had a strong teacher. One or the other. Or both.”

学生从小就要学会自尊和自爱，也要知道学习，学展技能和自理的重要性。传播正能量吧。

“It didn’t matter whether the children learned anything at all. Nothing was important except their performance on standardized tests. Teachers were supposed to teach skills specifically for those tests. The strange thing was that if a child didn’t learn, no one held the teachers responsible. If an eighth-grader didn’t know how to read, no one went back to that child’s first, second, or third grade teacher to ask what went wrong. No, it was always the child’s fault.”

孩子考的不好全是他们自已的错吗？马文科林斯在公立学校发问。

“I told them what Socrates said about straight thinking leading to straight living. I read aloud to them from The Great Quotation and 101 Famous Poems. We talked about Emerson’s “Self Reliance,” Bacon’s “On Education,” and parts of Thoreau’s Walden:”If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.”

从小就学习名言警句。

“ The other teachers, sitting on the sofas drinking coffee and swapping stories about their students, cut their conversations short the moment I entered. Though I have always felt pretty confident of myself, I wasn’t immune to their coldness. I hated feeling like an outcast. It brought back the same pain I experienced as a child when my classmates poked fun at my fancy clothes or ridiculed me for being tall and awkward. I didn’t know how to make peace with my colleagues. I just wasn’t good at small talk. It bothered me to sit around talking about some boy who was repeating sixth grade for the third time or about a new transfer student who had been to seven other schools without learning how to write his name. those things weren’t funny to me. I used to hear some teachers say “I hate these damn kids.” That comment would destroy me. As a mother I would hate to think I had gone through the trouble of getting my children dressed and fed and sent them off to a school where the teacher’s attitude was “I hate these damn kids.” No matter what it cost me personally, “I couldn’t be like that.”

理念不一致，在一起就很尴尬😓。

“In fairy tales there is always a conflict or problem, the forces of good poised against the forces of evil. I teach my students to identify the protagonist and the antagonist. I also point out that in fairy tales there are often elements of three——three bears, three pigs, three wishes. Cinderella’s three nights at the ball. I explain that the number three is widely symbolic, representing many things. One example I usually give is the three parts to our personality——the id, the ego, and the super-ego. I tell the children that the id is the person we are when we are first born, before we learn anything. The ego is our present self, the person we think we are. And the super-ego is our conscience, the person we feel we should be.”

童话里往往有3这个元素，3这个数字是泛指，代表很多事物。人的个性也有三个部分-本我，自我和超我，本我就是一个人生而具有的样子，是我们没有开始学习之前的样子。自我是现在、当前的自己，是别人认为的我们自己。而超我是我们的意识，是我们认为应该成为的样子。

“We live in a label-conscious society where people are forever trying to categorize and classify each other. We tend to overuse terms like “learning disability,” “developmental disabilities,” “behavior disorder,” and “hyperactive,” bandying them about until they are stretched beyond validity. A child who fidgets in his seat isn’t necessarily hyperactive. Maybe that child is bored. Maybe that child doesn’t know how to do the work and is afraid to ask for help. Or maybe that child is just active.”

《非暴力沟通》告诉我们不要给任何人打标签，包括小朋友。

“A teacher can make or break a child, favor or stigmatize him. Just as there are teachers who are inspiring, who can spark interest and turn students on to learning, there are teachers who can turn a student off, not only to school but to himself. Not that it is done consciously. But a teacher has to be sensitive to all things at all times. Even such offhand remarks as “Your older brother was a brilliant student” or “You’re the biggest one in class so you stand in the back row for the assembly problem” can alienate a child.”

语言的力量。含沙射影是成年人的游戏，放过那个小朋友吧。

全书读完很有画面感，好像看到自已读书时受过的打，挨过的骂，老师的形象历历在目😭。。。老师一边说着为了你们好，一边打着你。。。体罚现在很少了吧，但是冷暴力或者暴力沟通还存在，希望每一个教育行业的从业者都读下本书吧，为了祖国未来的花朵。。。